Tongue in Cheek.

I am so stressed about us not having a big month in sales.  I don't want to seem "difficult" but frankly the only "big month” I can see myself having is an increase in size. Of course the fact that I cannot afford to buy food, because we have no sales, might help lessen this problem.  I know I am an sugar addict but how do I stop.

Yesterday I raided all Holly’s sweets and then almost the whole tub of ice cream I bought for her the other day. I had to offer her ice cream (which sort of breaks the rules) because if I didn't it would be obvious that only I had been the greedy, soon to be fat pig, that had eaten it. Oops.

Strangely, it all started last week after I had been doing so well on the Isagenix program, the playmates "skinny"  diet secret revealed to me by Karen.  Well I figured if I just order the Isagenix program and do it every month I will not only be skinny but my food bill will be just $350. what a double coup and stroke of genius.

Naturally, I knew I was taking a risk when rashly I ordered the Isagenix chocolates. But, I reminded myself that the chocloates were supposed to take the cravings away.  Except in my case nothing takes my cravings away, except more chocolate.  Chocolate is clearly like heroin for me, but obviously much healthier.  So, after I had happily eaten my way through most of the craving reducing chocolates I turned to more mundane strategies, like raiding the kids ice cream.

Oh my God, then I'm amazed after slurping shakes and downing "fake" food how I crave real food.  Real food like veggies and other things that grow out of the ground and not in a petri dish in some food lab somewhere. Seriously, after a while the thought of yet another liquid, sugary, shake was completely nauseating. Perhaps that is the benefit of these stupid liquid diets. After a while they are so boring,  sugary, and fake that you are desperate to eat healthy real food.  Maybe that's the trick after all.

Anyway, since last Friday I have been on this yo-yo binge cycle, now undoing all the "good" work of the previous two weeks.

Instead of the fridge, perhaps I should just raid Hannah’s s tool kit wire my own jaws shut and solve the problem once and for all. Can you imagine it really gets that bad for people that they have their jaws wired shut! Wow..... that an actual paid medical procedure? Well, I am not there yet.. still some more things to try to shake this stubborn ten pounds.

Ella Quent 2010